Last year, 2006 about this time, I decided to try and lose weight. I set a low goal for myself - one pound a week. I slowly succeeded and lost a total of 25 pounds over the course of a year. This year, I am attempting to apply the same concept to my spiritual life. It's a bit more difficult to manage because I don't have a set of scales that will measure my spiritual health. I can't plug in some numbers on the internet and find out what my soul mass index is. So I'm left a bit on my own here to watch for progress. Last Sunday is when I decided to start on this journey. I have to remind myself, that in the beginning of losing weight, it was very very hard and nobody noticed. I couldn't tell a change in myself at all. Other then stepping on the scales, there was no evidence for a long time that anything was happening. Therefore, I have to remember that this time. Just because I studied my bible every day last week and prayed every day...I'm not super spiritual one week later. It's one pound at a time. Am I closer to God today then I was last Sunday? I'm sure I am. I've already had to rely on him for an answer. Let me tell you the situation.January is going to be an expensive month for me. I got a traffic ticket that I have to pay for ($128) and also my car taxes are due this month ($112) add those to my already pretty loaded down budget and it is hard to imagine how I would pay for those. Even with my new raise which will be about $120 extra a month. Last week was my first check with my raise and I can't imagine how I didn't have any money lol I gave my tithes on last check though, which honestly is something I struggle with remember to do. According to the statement I get from the church on my 2006 tithes, I gave them right at about half the time. I made $20,000 last year and paid just under $1,000 in tithes. So that's about half of what it should have been. So anyway, somewhere around Thursday it becomes clear that I'm going to be pretty broke. I had $88 in my checking acct with my $80 tithe check yet to clear and pay day is a week away. So I had $8. The answer to me, was clear. My work owes me apx $700 for school reimbursement. So I was praying for that to hurry up and get processed so that it would cover my bills. Well, after Friday came and went and I had no money (they normally deposit that money on Friday's) I knew I had to go a different direction. So...I decided to just pray for wisdom on how to handle my current money situation. On Saturday morning it occurs to me that I have my W-2's and that I could take it to the tax people and get a check the same day. So I decided how much money I really wanted to get back and what I would be willing to pay to get my money same day. I decided that as long as I walked away with at least $900 that it would be worth it. So I went, and I walked away with a check for $956 that I will deposit tomorrow.For me, this is the first landmark, or memorial, on my new journey. This is a time that God taught me not to pray for what I think the answer should be. But to pray for wisdom. I was listening to a preacher last week and he was talking about how it is not our place to worry about the "stuff" of life. Food, clothes, shelter, none of that is our concern. God said we would never go hungry that he would always provide for us...if we would keep our eyes on him. My job, is to focus on Him and make him my number one priority and He will take care of the "stuff" in my life. Week one in my journey I have already had to rely on him and he came through for me. Was it how I thought he would? Nope. But it worked anyway. I believe I am going to give $100 of that to the youth dept...but not tell them who it is from. I'll just slip it into the offering. There is a preacher that our youth pastor really wants to have come preach for us, but over the weekend said that the youth account doesn't have the money in it, and that we would need to pay him at least $100 to come preach. So, I will give that to them. I really like being able to give people money. I wish I were extremely wealthy because I would buy my friends things all the time. They would never pay if they ate out with me, and I would always be slipping them money. Maybe someday! I wanted to log this experience in this journal of my journey. I am just an ordinary person who is experimenting with God. Some would not like that word "experimenting" but I can't help but use it. I feel like that is what I am doing...my attitude is sort of, I'll do this and just see what happens. It was my attitude when I lost weight. I have no idea where this is going to lead me, or what lies along my path ahead. All I can do is take it week by week. Last week is over and I think I lost a bit of weight and gained just a little bit of knowledge. Nothing major, nothing that anybody would look at me and suddenly see a super spiritual person. But it is a small step on my journey. I'm hoping if I chronicle my journey I will see patterns in the highs and lows. When I am low I can read back on the highs and when I am high, I can remember that the lows are coming back around inevitably. A preacher this weekend preached about how close we are to our miracle. I can't say that I know what my miracle is that I am in need of, but I am in need of something. God has been tugging at my heart ever since I can remember and I've never fully given myself to Him. We will see where this journey leads me.